There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
