Plan B is the new Plan A
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
