I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
