OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
