I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Michael Bay diarrhea
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
