It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
True strength comes from lack of pants
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
