All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
