Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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