i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
