She's JV to your varsity
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
