I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
