Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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