people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
