maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
