I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
