i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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