Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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