I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wish my penis had a tongue
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
