Your face is a jimmy john
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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