Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
