Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
