i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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