Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
