His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
