So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
