she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
