would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
