The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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