Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
