do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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