Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
