Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
