so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
