You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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