You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am available for nakedness
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
