You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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