Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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