Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
