You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
