they need to just BURY HIM!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
