If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
