if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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