Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's never too late to be topless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
