So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
