I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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