Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
