4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
True college students do jello shots in the library
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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