I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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