that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my vag is so smooth its legendary
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
