Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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