i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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